Knife Called Lust
by Expelliarmus Said Shakespeare
Summary: Kanda blows into town with seemingly no past at all. But all Allen wants to do is be his friend. But when their friendship blossoms into love, Allen realizes that Kanda has some serious skeletons in his closet. Will Their love survive? Or better yeat, will they survive? AU present day
1. Prolouge

_Okay here it is! The long awaited for Knife Called Lust!  
><strong>Warning<strong>: This fic is rated **M** for mature for coarse language, violence, self mutilation, and death. This fic also contains mild yaoi (boyxboy) So if you don't like it, don't read it.  
>I don't own D. Gray Man, Taco Bell, the movie Dear John, or any of the songs, including the title track, in this story. All themes and characters are fictitious and meant to be used in that manner. Any likeness of real world persons or ideas are completely coincidental.<br>_

**_Two paths diverge in a sea of destiny. Kanda blows into town with seemingly no past at all. But all Allen wants to do is be his friend. But when their friendship blossoms into love, Allen realizes that Kanda has some serious skeletons in his closet. Will their love survive? Or better yet... Will they survive?_**

* * *

><p><strong>PROLOGUE<strong>

"_I look alive, I'm dead inside, my heart has holes and black blood flows. We'll do some drugs, we'll fall in love, we'll get fucked up while the world just shrugs. With no thought logically, we're wandering the streets so aimlessly, I hate to see these kids being but down so painlessly..."_

The song droned on as he slowly raised the knife to his wrist. He watched the blade glimmer in the candlelight in his room. He pressed the cold blade to his skin.

"_And just because you show no love and hate on us, you fucked our trust! Now watch me thrust this knife called lust into my chest until it busts!"_

He winced a little as the blade blemished his ivory skin. How long had it been now? He thought back to the funeral. About six months... Six months had passed since he died. The only person who'd ever made him happy... was gone.


	2. Act I

**ACT I**

His name was Allen Walker. He was an exceptionally happy teen, but no one knew why. First of all, he was adopted; then his foster father died, and then his foster father's best friend, who'd taken him in, died too. This kid went through all kinds of shit; but he took it with a smile and never said a thing. Allen was a bit of a bleeding heart. If someone was in need, he was always there to help them. Even if he'd dealt with shit worse; seen more horrible things- he always dealt with them with the utmost care and consideration. But he still ghosted around until someone did need him. In the times of lull, the only attention he received was taunting. Usually it was for his short stature, girlish physique, or his snowy white hair, which was especially odd seeing as he was only sixteen. Even then, all he'd do is smile and come up with a witty retort and walk away. He was a very strange kid, but hey...  
>There are always more fucked up people in the world.<p>

It was a Thursday, a little after school let back in after Christmas break. Allen was running late, as usual. While he waited for the secretary to write his slip, he heard Mr. Lee, the principal, speaking to someone in his office. Allen couldn't really make out what he was saying, so he assumed that it was _another_ lecture for _another_ jock who decided it was a good idea to put the moves on Mr. Lee's precious younger sister, Lenalee. Allen mindlessly took the slip from the woman behind the desk while he watched the door to Mr. Lee's office open. Allen repressed a snicker when Mr. Lee walked out, waiting for a student to walk out with his head hanging low and possibly a lump on his head.

But Mr. Lee came out of his office looking as chipper as normal, and Allen didn't recognize the kid standing next to him. Allen knew just about everyone, but this person was unfamiliar. There was one thing that Allen couldn't decide... Was this kid a boy or a girl? Just as Allen was about to leave, Komui (if you hadn't already guessed it was him) stopped him.

"Ah, Allen, just the one I wanted to see!" he called. Allen turned to look at him.

"Oh, uh, yes sir?" Allen, even though it never happened, hoped that he wasn't in trouble.

"Well, as you can see, we have a new student. His name is Kanda. Would you mind showing him around for me? Tell him where his classes are, all that? You should know where the senior classes are." Komui replied.

"Senior?" Allen repeated. "I'm a sophomore. Why not get another senior to show him around, like Lavi?" Komui chuckled.

"You think I'd let Lavi loose on a kid who _just_ got here? I know you'll be fine Allen. Just show him where everything is. Now off to class, you're both late enough as it is." Komui shooed them out of the administration office. Allen, being the peppy, optimistic, naïve boy he is, actually tried to help.

"So Kanda," he started. Kanda whipped his head around to look at Allen. "Please tell me I got your name right... Uh, so I'm Allen Walker, and uh... Welcome! So what's your first class? I'll point you in-..."

"Look short stack," Kanda started. "I don't care who you are. I can find my own way around. So you can back the hell off." Kanda turned, his long black ponytail swishing, and walked off. Allen put his hands on his hips and made a face.

"Geez, what a jackass..."

Allen walked into his first class, ten minutes late. He handed Mr. Reever the tardy slip and walked sheepishly to his seat. He looked over to Lenalee next to him and smiled. She smiled back, happy to see that Allen was okay. She worried too much.

"Okay class, partner up and study for your test Monday," Mr. Reever said, slumping in his chair. Lenalee turned her desk and poked Allen's shoulder.

"Where were you? I was worried you weren't coming today," she sighed. Allen groaned a little and hunched over.

"Well, when I went to the office to sign in, your brother stopped me before I left." Lenalee groaned.

"What'd he want now?" she sighed.

"Well, we got a new student. His name's Kanda... and he's kind of a jackass..." Allen scratched the back of his head and glanced at the door.

"A jackass?" Lenalee repeated. "So quick to judge, that's not like you Allen. What happened?"

"Well," Allen started, looking up at the ceiling. "He glared at me for no reason, called me short stack, and told me to back the hell off. So yeah, I'd say he's a jackass." Allen looked back at Lenalee.

"Hm... What'd you say his name was? Kanda? What'd he look like?" She tried to hide the obvious interest in her voice.

"Hm... He was kinda tall; I guess 5' 9" or so. Let's see... He was pale, I mean like milky white, which contrasted really well with his dark hair. His hair was really long, like midway down his back and black. Like, _black_; onyx or ebony. He had really dark blue eyes, like a midnight blue color, they were really pretty. He had kinda broad shoulders, but a very girlish physique. Like, I couldn't tell if he was a guy or a girl at first. But Komui said 'he,' and when he spoke it was a total 'a-ha' moment. His voice was really deep, and solemn sounding, but firm, and it fits, yanno? He kinda had a sway in his walk, and his hips were wide-ish and girly. Oh, but when he glared at me... Ugh, it was scary. He could've frozen the seventh level of Hell over." Allen shuddered. He looked at Lenalee, who was stifling a giggle.

"Wow Allen. That was... descriptive. You mind telling me how you can describe someone you just met less than five minutes ago so well?" She laughed and Allen sighed.

"Lenalee, you know I'm not _on_ _that_ _side of the fence,_" he retorted.

"I don't know Allen... I think you might've thought that he's hot." She laughed again, louder this time. Allen's jaw dropped.

"I did not!" he exclaimed. She laughed louder, and didn't realize that Mr. Reever was standing behind her. She jumped and squeaked when he put a hand on her shoulder.

"What's so funny over here?" he asked, slightly annoyed. She blushed a deep shade of red and twiddled her thumbs.

"N-nothing... My brother did something funny the other day, and I was laughing about it," she lied. Reever sighed and took his hand off her.

"Just keep it down over here, okay?" He walked back to his desk.

"That was kinda close. So Allen, how hot would you say he was? Maybe a seven? Or an eight?" she asked sprightly. Allen rolled his eyes.

"Geez, Lenalee. Are you so adamant on the non-existent fact that I'm gay?" he spat. She shrugged.

"I could really see you as being gay. And I kinda wish you were. But that's beside the point. You were able to explain Kanda's appearance in explicit detail. I mean, you would've had to eyeball fuck him for that kinda detail. Either you thought he was hot, or you wanted a thorough mental picture to creep on him later," she said blatantly.

"Shut up, I'm not a creeper!" he yelled.

Kanda ducked out of his class and scanned the hallway for that weird kid from this morning. The coast was clear, so he stepped out. What was that kid's name anyways? Aaron? Ayden? Allen! That was it! Wait... _Why the hell was he trying to remember the guy's name?_ Well, he was really cute, and his silver eyes were so mesmerizing, and he looked so innocent... _STOP IT! NO! No thinking like that!_ He's just a stupid kid... An annoyance.

Just then, said annoyance decided to pop up behind him. "Hey Kanda!" he said over the buzz of commotion in the cluttered hallway. Kanda turned slowly and glared at him. There was a girl, standing beside Allen, who studied Kanda intently. Allen had a fail attempt of a smirk on his face.

"What the hell do you want, idiot sprout?" Kanda grumbled. Allen rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Well, Komui told me to help you out and show you around. Where's your next class?" Kanda shoved the schedule in Allen's face, not wanting to waste any more breath on him. He looked at the girl eyeing him.

"What?" he snapped. She jumped and then poked Allen's shoulder.

"You were right, sharp tongue. But you were also right about him being hot~" She elbowed Allen lightly, winking.

"Lenalee! I never said that!" He looked back at Kanda, whose expression darkened dangerously. Allen chuckled nervously. "Don't mind her, she's a yaoi fangirl. Anyways, according to your schedule, we have the same class next. I'll show you the way," Allen offered. Kanda scoffed.

"_You_ take AP Literature?" he said. Allen nodded energetically.

"Of course! I love it! C'mon, we don't wanna be late!" Allen grabbed Kanda's hand, but Kanda pulled away quickly and followed.

" '_And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.'_ Can anyone tell me where this quote comes from?" Ms. Lotto scanned the room for someone who was paying attention at least. "Bak?" He was staring off into space. "Lavi?" He shrugged. "Allen? Help me out here?" Allen tried, he really did. But no matter how many times he 'umm'ed, snapped, or face palmed, he couldn't remember. "Well I guess since no one knows or cares-," she was cut off.

"_A Midsummer Night's Dream,_ Act III, scene i, by William Shakespeare. Any half-cultured dimwit would know that," Kanda said curtly. Everyone turned to look at him, and Ms. Lotto stuttered in shock.

"Uh-... Yes, that-... that's correct." She flipped to a random page in the book she was holding. "_Personal affection is a luxury you have only after all your enemies are eliminated. Until then, everyone you love is a hostage, sapping your courage and corrupting your judgment,_" she read.

"Orson Scott Card, _Empire._" Kanda smirked slightly when she raised an impressed brow. She flipped to another page.

"_Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."_ Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Edgar Allan Poe, _The Raven,_" he replied. She 'hmm'ed in response. Kanda yawned. "Can you try something a little more challenging?" Ms. Lotto gave him an annoyed look.

"Okay mister," she said, throwing the book on her desk. She started quoting from memory. _"But paradise is locked and bolted... We must make a journey around the world to see if the back door has perhaps been left open." _

"Heinrich von Kleist, On the Puppet Theater. Next," he said tersely. A small vein popped out in Ms. Lotto's forehead.

"_For if I imp my wing on thine, affection shall advance the flight in me,"_ she strained. Kanda sighed.

"George Herbert, _Easter Wings_." Kanda smirked again as her eyes narrowed.

"_By a route obscure and lonely, haunted by ill angels only, where an Eidolon named Night-,"_ he cut her off.

"Edgar Allan Poe, _Dream-Land_. Anything else?" Kanda drawled. She became frazzled.

"_She eyes me like a pisces when I am weak, I've been locked inside your heart shaped box for weeks. I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap, I wish I could eat your cancer whe you turn black."_ Kanda scoffed.

"_Heart Shaped Box_ by Nirvana." Ms. Lotto almost screamed in defeat and annoyance.

"How do you do this? I just can't win! How the hell do you know all this?" she exclaimed. Kanda chuckled.

"Well, literature is something I love, especially that which is dark and chaotic... even a little romantic. And let's just say I had a very good private tutor..." Kanda smirked in victory.

Kanda quickly found the most deserted part of the cafeteria and sat down. Maybe he could be free to think for a moment. He pulled up the hood of his jacket and put his headphones in. He closed his eyes and sighed contently as the voice sang. _His_ song; from _their_ playlist... He felt a slight breeze blow past him, so he opened his eyes. Allen was sitting in front of him. He grumbled something under his breath and pressed pause. "What the hell do you want Allen?" he grumbled angrily.

"Woah! You remembered my name! Well, a lot of people have said it over and over, but still, that has to count for something!" Allen dug into the pile of food in front of him. "So what's up Kanda?" Kanda just shook his head and pressed play on his iPod again. Allen began to ramble on about something, Kanda couldn't really hear... Nor did he care. But apparently Allen noticed that Kanda wasn't paying attention, so he began to poke the older.

"Kanda? Kaaaaaannnnndddaaaa? You in there man?" Allen continued to poke him, but Kanda swatted his hand away. So Allen did something he immediately regretted. "Yu?" he asked hesitantly. Kanda's eyes snapped open immediately. He slowly turned his head to glare at Allen dangerously.

"What the _fuck_ did you just call me?" Kanda growled. Allen seemed to shrink in a frightened way.

"Well, my fourth period is office aid, so I went and looked you up in the data base. It said your first name was Yu-..." Kanda grabbed Allen by the collar and pulled him close.

"Listen you fucked up little twerp, my personal information is none of your _fucking _business! I don't care who the _fuck_ you think you are, but there was only one person on the _whole fucking planet _who was EVER allowed to call me by that name, and he died a long time ago!" Kanda shouted the last sentence and threw Allen back into his seat. Kanda stood and started walking away, but Allen caught his arm.

"Kanda, I'm so sorry... I didn't know, please forgive me… I just wanna be friends..." Allen choked out. He mentally cursed himself for getting all teary-eyed. Kanda pulled away.

"I didn't ask for your friendship," he grumbled. He walked away into the crowd of teens leaving the cafeteria.

Allen closed the door to his house and locked it. He sighed and dragged himself into the living room where he dropped his stuff. He basically crawled up the stairs to his room and fell onto his bed. He grabbed a pillow and buried his face into it. Allen let out a frustrated yell.

"How the hell was I supposed to know not to call him that?" he grumbled. He turned on his back and looked at his left arm. He ran that hand over the scar on his left eye and sighed. "I wonder if he noticed..." he sighed. Turning on his side, he chucked a pillow at the wall.

"Whatever, who even cares..."

Kanda slammed the door to his apartment, threw his stuff at the wall, and fell onto his couch. He sat for a few moments and tried to calm down. That didn't work, so he tried taking a hot shower. He emerged fifteen minutes later feeling... Not much better. He sat on his bed and let out a frustrated sigh. He hissed when he thought of Allen.

"I don't know what it is about that kid," Kanda growled. "But something about him just makes me hate him so much." He pondered the fact for a moment. When he came up with nothing, he shook his head and lay down on his bed.

"Whatever, screw it."

Allen ran into second period Friday morning hoping to sit _far away_ from Kanda. He really didn't wanna die today. But, seeing as Allen is almost always late, and has horrible karma (for no reason), there was only one seat left... Next to Kanda.

'_Wonderful...'_ Allen thought. Kanda's look grew more and more sour the closer Allen came.

'_Fan-fucking-tastic! I get to spend a whole forty-five minutes next to this freaking spazz,'_ Kanda thought. _'Could this day get any better?' _Sarcasm was a great thing. Allen sat down and smiled sheepishly at Kanda. Kanda discretely flipped him off and turned his attention to the front of the class. Allen looked down trodden, but he was never one for quitting.

Ms. Lotto released them to talk among themselves while she went to make copies of something. Allen looked over at Kanda, who had his head down.

"Kanda?" he said. No answer. "Kandaaa?" he asked, poking the older. Kanda swatted his hand away and let out a muffled sigh. "Hey Kanda, wake up," Allen said, poking him again.

"Fuck off Moyashi," Kanda muttered. Allen made a face. He wanted to talk to Kanda and apologize for yesterday. But the only other way he could think to get his attention would get him killed so... he tugged Kanda's ponytail lightly. Kanda grabbed Allen's wrist in a death grip. He slowly raised his head and glared at Allen in a way that made Allen want to piss his pants.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't break your wrist, Beansprout," Kanda growled dangerously. Allen stuttered for an answer and said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Uuhhh... Too many witnesses?" He shrugged haphazardly. Kanda mumbled obscenities and let him go.

"What the hell do you want anyways?" Kanda asked. Allen messed with the bandages on his left arm.

"Well, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I really didn't know, and I realize that I hit a sensitive spot there. I was hoping we could start over?" Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he replied. Allen took that as a 'yes' and perked up.

"Cool! So I think we should get to know each other. Yanno, on a friendly basis. What's your favorite color? Do you like sports? How about art? Is there anything you're really good at? What-?" Kanda cut him off.

"You're a peppy little spit-fuck, aren't you? Look Moyashi, I really don't wanna know about you, nor do I care. I'm not telling you anything, 'cause I never said you could rapid fire personal questions at me. So you can take you game of 20 questions and shove it up-..."

"AHEM!" Kanda and Allen looked up to find a very agitated Ms. Lotto. "Do you think you two could save this little conversation for _after_ class?" she asked. They both nodded and she walked away.

Lunch, Friday; Allen sat next to a very reluctant Kanda again. Kanda thought about moving, but this was the only empty table. Allen prattled on and on, and Kanda was trying to drown out the sounds of the cafeteria. And what do you know? His iPod died! He could hear Allen again, who noticed that Kanda was grimacing worse now.

"What happened? Is your iPod dead?" Allen asked. Kanda only grunted and laid his head down on the table. Allen looked at the empty space in front of Kanda.

"Yanno, I think I know why you're so moody. You don't eat at lunch. After this, there's still two and a half hours till school lets out. Why not eat?" Allen inquired.

"Because," Kanda started, lifting his head. "I, unlike you, would rather not have a heart attack. I'll pass." Kanda put his head in his hands and sighed, and Allen kept on talking. Kanda looked at the clock. Five minutes; just five more minutes...

"See Kanda, you're so anti-social, you need to get out more, do sports. Or maybe join a club! We have lots of things to do, like baseball, football, volleyball, basketball, track, swim team, wrestling, or maybe weight lifting..." Allen went on. Kanda looked up again; only three more minutes. "We have a glee club, book club, Model UN, Mock Trial, band, drama club, Kendo team, a bunch of honors societies, SADD..." Kanda perked up a bit.

"Kendo team?" he asked, sounding a little more interested than he wanted to let on.

"Yeah, it branched off from the Asian Heritage club we had, which totally fell through. But we only have like five people on the team. Everyone there is like a total jock who thinks swords are awesome 'n shit. Why do you ask? You interested?" Allen tried to act all suave about it. Which failed. Epically.

Kanda blew it off. "Maybe, what of it? I did kendo for a while..." Kanda finally opened up a little. "After that, I trained as, I guess for lack of a better word, a samurai. That was my life and it was all I did for a long time... I'm legally allowed to carry my sword, and I can damn well use it..." Kanda looked down at his hands longingly. "Micah used to call me his 'little warrior'..." Allen gave Kanda a questioning look.

"Micah? Who's Micah?" he asked. But Kanda locked up.

"Nothing. No one... It's none of your concern Shortstack." Kanda got up and started walking away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Allen asked, grabbing Kanda's hand. Kanda pulled his hand away.

"If you haven't realized, the cafeteria is empty. Congratulations on your dumbfuckery, I'm going to class."

Eighth period was tense, to put it mildly. Mr. Krory put everyone in pairs for their creative writing assignment for the day. They had to write a sonnet or poem on their idea of the meaning of friendship. And he paired Allen and Kanda together. Great.

Allen turned towards Kanda and spoke nervously. "Hey Kanda, I think we kinda need to get to work... do you have any sugges-..."

"Fuck off Shortstack. Do the damn thing yourself." Kanda slumped in his chair and closed his eyes.

"My name is Allen you asshole..." Allen growled.

Kanda's head snapped up. "What was that?" he inquired dangerously.

"I said my name is Allen you _asshole_!" Allen yelled. Everyone turned to look back at them. This was weird; Allen never lost his shit like that. "I swear to God you are so….. freaking confusing! One minute, you're all pissy, the next you seem to open up... Then you lock up like you've said too much and call me a name!" Allen was standing now, leaning over a very nonchalant Kanda. "And in two days, you've told me to fuck off like, eight times! So yanno what? _You_ fuck off!"

Kanda sighed. "Oh my God, you are so fucking annoying." He put his head down on the desk. Allen pulled him up by his shoulder.

"I'm not finished yet! I'm so sick and tired of your mood swings! You're like a PMSing geisha! And I don't appreciate being ignored!" Allen's face was red with anger, and he was breathing heavily. Kanda's eyes clouded in rage, and he stood too, towering almost half a foot over Allen.

"Oh,_ you _don't appreciate it? _You _are sick and tired?" Kanda's voice was dangerously low. "You think I'm not tired of some spastic little freak I just met trying to pry into my personal life? I don't fucking care what your name is, who you are, where you came from... _I don't care!_" Kanda screamed. Allen shook in complete, full-on rage. Freak? Really, the freak card had to be pulled?

Allen ran straight into Kanda, knocking the both of them down. Everyone crowded around them, eager for a fight. Allen grabbed the front of Kanda's shirt and slammed him into the floor. He straddled the older, and held him down. Kanda pulled his leg up through the space between his and Allen's hips and kneed Allen in the stomach. Allen fell off clutching his abdomen. Kanda pinned Allen down on his front. He put a knee in Allen's back and the other on one of Allen's hands. He pulled Allen's other arm back in a lock and gripped Allen's hair with his free hand. Kanda shoved Allen's face into the ground.

"You're going to regret that for the rest of your life," he threatened. Allen cried out in pain as Kanda pulled his arm back further and tightened his grip on his hair. Just then, Krory came pushing through the crowd of kids with Komui.

"All right, break it up!" Komui yelled. Allen and Kanda only looked up at Komui. "You heard what I said, get off him!" Kanda rolled his eyes and released Allen's arm. He shoved Allen's face into the floor again as he let go of his hair and stood. Allen got up, rubbing his shoulder. "You two- my office. _Now_."

"Fighting... Over what?" Komui questioned. Allen looked down in shame while Kanda... Well, Kanda just didn't care. Komui sighed. "Allen, I never expected anything like this from you. Kanda-... Nevermind." Komui looked down at his desk. "According to your teacher, Allen- you started it. I have a hard time believing that, but Krory isn't one for lying. Tell me what happened." Allen looked away.

"You see, Mr. Krory paired us together for an assignment. I said that we needed to get started, and Kanda told me to... to fuck off, and called me Shortstack. I just got really mad, 'cause he's done that like eight times now, and so I started yelling at him, and he called me a freak, so I pounced. I'm really sorry, I just... I got so angry and..." Allen looked down again and Kanda rolled his eyes.

"Well, I guess that covers it. One week of detention, both of you, starting Monday. Now get the hell out of my office before I decide to suspend you both."

Kanda slammed the door to his apartment and collapsed on his couch. He groaned in frustration and rubbed his eyes. "Why the hell did I go back to school?" he growled. Micah's face flashed in his mind. "Damn you and your morals..." He pulled himself off the couch and decided to go to bed early.

"_**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_ Allen screamed. He slammed the door so hard, the light fixture on the ceiling shook. He threw his back pack as hard as he could down the hall, where it hit the wall on the other end, making a loud crash and popping something off the handle on a door down there. Tears stung in his eyes as he stumbled up the stairs.

"I hate you Kanda..." he growled furiously, slamming his fist on the wall. "I hate you so much..." He began to punch the door frame, screaming 'I hate you' with every punch.

"I hate you, I hate you, _I hate you! I FUCKING HATE YOU!_" He screamed. He punched the door frame again, and a big chunk of wood came flying off. He slid down the wall and stared at his bleeding knuckles. Tears poured down his cheeks.

"Kanda..."

Monday afternoon, in detention. Kanda slumped in his desk and tried to sleep. Allen glared at him, pretty much the whole time.

"Just so you know, I hate you," Allen stated matter-of-factly.

"Good," Kanda replied. "That makes two of us." Allen's glare darkened.

"I wish I never met you," Allen shot back.

"No kidding?" Kanda spat sarcastically. "I said the same thing to myself Thursday morning."

Tuesday wasn't much better. Allen decided he'd try to annoy the hell out of Kanda. He pulled out a binder and a book from his back pack and slammed them on the desk. He opened the book and turned the pages as loudly as he could. Opening to a clean sheet of paper in his binder, he began to read his text book aloud.

"Okay, let's see... _El Monte de Nuestro Alimento_-...

'Un día, Quetzalcóatl vía un hormiga en la ciudad de Teotihuacán. La hormiga tenía un grano de maíz...'"

"Shut up! Just please, for the love of all that is holy, _shut up!_" Kanda yelled. Allen giggled lightly and continued to read silently.

Wednesday and Thursday went much like Monday; but Friday... Friday took a turn for... Maybe the better. Allen sat in the seat directly next to Kanda. And he just stared at him. Intensely. Kanda tried to ignore him, but Allen just moved closer.

"What the hell do you want?" he asked the staring teen.

"Are you blind?" Allen inquired. Kanda gave him a weird look.

"What the hell kinda question is that?" Kanda shot back. Allen moved his chair closer, and got his face really close to Kanda's.

"Well you must be..." Allen mumbled. "That, or completely oblivious to the blatantly obvious. I mean, anyone else would've said something by now.." Allen looked down and tapped his chin.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kanda questioned. Allen unwrapped the bandages around his hand and grabbed Kanda's hand. He guided Kanda's hand to his left eye and let him feel the scar.

"Have you noticed these at all?" Allen asked. Kanda felt the rough scars on Allen's left hand and the deep groove in his face. He quickly pulled away.

"Of course I have. I just didn't feel the need to say anything about it. I'm sure it's from a dark part of your past that's extremely painful for you to talk about. I've got my demons too," Kanda replied. Allen mouthed 'oooh,' and scooted away a little.

"Yanno," Allen started. "I wouldn't mind telling you the story... If you're at all interested," he mumbled sheepishly. Kanda pursed his lips.

"I guess I'm kinda curious as to how an innocent kid like you gets horrible scars like that..." Kanda shrugged. "If you don't mind."

Allen smiled sheepishly. "Uh… I guess it was about three or four years ago. I was living with my foster father, Mana. See, he'd fallen ill, and times were getting tough." Allen looked down. There was a slight tremble in his voice. "I had to go get Mana's medicine from the drug store. It was barely a ten minute trip there and back. I thought he'd be fine on his own for just that long. It was winter, so we had a fire going in the fire place. I put on another log to keep him warm. And so I left." Allen sniffled a little. "When I came back, there were giant fire engines and tons of people surrounding the house… I pushed my way through and ran inside to try and save Mana. I tried to get through, but the fire had spread everywhere. So I ran on, without thinking. My left arm had caught fire by the time I got back to Mana's room. It was the worst in there. The big window above the bed shattered then, and I was covered in glass; one of the shards hit me in the eye. I made my way over to Mana, but… he was already long gone. Firemen came in and dragged me out, kicking, screaming, and crying… I was in the hospital for two months. There was a big funeral service, lots of people came. I stayed with one of Mana's friends for a while, until he got into a _little_ trouble. He died too. Well, he was murdered, if you wanna get technical." Allen wiped tears from his eyes. "So yeah, that's my story." He sniffled again, and Kanda put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay Allen. You'll see him again someday," Kanda comforted. Allen smiled a little.

"Thanks Kanda... What about you and this person who called you by your first name? You should see them too, right?" Allen questioned innocently. Kanda dropped his hand and ran it through his hair. Allen caught his breath. Kanda's beautiful ivory complexion was caught in the light perfectly, and his soft, ebony bangs fell back over his midnight blue eyes. They held a sadness, along with mystery and turmoil. The corners of Kanda's soft pink lips were turned up ever so slightly, almost a smile. Allen jumped a little when the boy he was admiring spoke in his deep, solemn voice.

"No, not me. I'm going to Hell..." Kanda (unknowingly) said _very_ husky. Allen stuttered, thrown off by how sexy Kanda had just sounded.

"B-but... Why?" he asked.

"You have no clue what I've done kid..." Kanda replied solemnly. "No clue."

**END ACT I**


	3. Act II

**ACT II**

Allen was excited Monday morning. He ran into second period like the devil was at his heels. He sat next to Kanda. "So Kanda," he started. Kanda turned his head to look at Allen, a friendly smirk playing on his lips. "I was wondering… are you free this weekend?" Kanda raised a brow.

"Maybe, why?" he asked. Allen got even happier (if that was even possible).

"Do you think you wanna get together and go see a movie or something? Yanno, hang out?" Allen asked timidly. Kanda chuckled and looked down. When he looked back up at Allen, all he could see was Micah. The eager smile, the naïve look in his eyes, the mischievous wisdom that seemed to lie beneath. That must've been why... Why Kanda hated Allen at first. He saw too much of Micah. Kanda locked up and became sour again.

"No way. Why the hell would I wanna spend an entire day with you? Go ask some other poor unfortunate soul plagued with your presence." Kanda got up and moved to an empty desk.

"I don't get it Lenalee..." Allen sighed. He and Lenalee were filing, like they always did in office aid. "I mean, I thought we really connected on Friday. I told him about the accident- Mana, the fire, everything. He even opened up a little bit too." He closed a drawer and sat up on the table. "And I asked him to hang out this morning; he rejected me like I was diseased. Like, what if he hates me?" he asked. Lenalee slammed the file in her hand on the table.

"Enough Allen! I can't stand to listen to you bitch and whine about some guy you just met hating you! You never let something like this bother you before, why now? Out of the seven billion people on this planet, one tiny, insignificant person doesn't particularly like you. So what? Does it really matter that damn much?" she yelled. Allen stared in shock at Lenalee.

"W-well... I- uh... I guess not," he stuttered.

"Exactly! Are you gonna let one dumb person bother you? His loss, he won't see how great you are." Allen hopped off the table.

"You're right! So he doesn't like me, screw him! Thanks a bunch Lenalee!"

Kanda sat alone at lunch. No seriously, Allen didn't sit with him. He was on the other side of the cafeteria with Lavi and Lenalee. This gave Kanda a chance to relax and think in peace... Which didn't turn out exactly as Kanda had planned. He thought of Micah, like he normally did, all the great times they had together. But a new face flashed in his mind- Allen's. Allen and Micah's faces side by side... No, no. it wasn't right. He tried to shake the image away, but it stayed.

He couldn't do this. Not again. He couldn't let Allen get too close. What if _that_ happened again? Allen didn't do anything to deserve that... But he was so like Micah and so unique at the same time. He drew Kanda in like a succubus would a weaker man.

'_Shit..._' Kanda thought. He didn't want anyone so close to him ever again. But then again he did. He wanted Allen, and only Allen. There was so much controversy and so many contradictions in his thoughts, it made his head hurt. '_I'm probably about to make the biggest mistake of my life..._' he thought. '_But I guess I don't give a shit anymore._'

Kanda caught up with Allen in eighth period. "Hey Allen..." he said a little shyly, tapping the younger's shoulder. Allen turned, and his smile quickly turned into a frown.

"What did I do now?" he asked sourly. Kanda rolled his eyes.

"You said something this morning about hanging out..." he replied.

"Yeah, what about it?" Allen asked, brightening up a little. Kanda braced himself and swallowed the sick feeling.

"I first wanted to apologize for acting the way I did. It was uncalled for... And I was wondering," he clenched his teeth. "If the offer was still open..?" Allen became extremely happy.

"Seriously? Of course! That'd be awesome!" Allen replied. Kanda groaned inwardly.

"When and where?"

Saturday morning, 11:30 am. Kanda slept peacefully in his bed. His hair splayed out around him like a spider web of ebony. The covers were falling, exposing his well-toned torso and the tattoo on the left side of his chest, and showed the band of his silky navy blue boxers. He dreamt happily with a smile on his face. But all that was interrupted by a knock on the door. Kanda ignored it and pulled a pillow over his face. There was another knock. Kanda threw the pillow tiredly in the general direction of the front door. Another knock.

"What the hell?" Kanda mumbled tiredly. He got up and pulled on the pair of jeans that were lying on the floor. He stumbled to the door and opened it as far as the chain lock would allow. "Who are you and what the hell do-..." he started. It was Allen he realized.

"Oh hey Kanda! Good, I thought I had the wrong-.." Kanda closed the door. "Apartment... Rude much?" Allen mumbled. The door opened fully this time.

"C'mon in," Kanda said. Allen mouthed 'oh' and stepped in. Kanda shut the door. "Why the hell are you here so early?" Kanda asked.

"Well, it's not really early, it's about 11:30 now," Allen replied. Kanda shrugged and motioned for Allen to sit. The younger did so, staring at Kanda. He looked so... Holy shit _amazing_.

His hair was now in a low ponytail that swayed when he walked. He was shirtless, showing his amazing arms and torso. The jeans he was wearing were unbuttoned and riding low on his hips, exposing his navy boxers. Allen was about to start drooling. He shook his head and flipped his hair to make it look inconspicuous.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna have to get dressed, you stay. Please don't touch anything." Kanda walked out of the room and closed his bedroom door. Allen let out a heavy sigh.

"Oh my god..." he whispered. He thought about Kanda's bare torso and how smooth his skin looked. He went pink in the face when he wondered if it felt soft.

'_No! I am not gay! It's just hormones. I'm at that age, right? Just hormones. _' Allen's head snapped up when Kanda emerged from his room, and quickly went into the bathroom. Allen heard the water start running, so he assumed Kanda was brushing his teeth. He came out about five minutes later and walked over to Allen.

"So is there a plan, or did you just kinda show up here?" Kanda asked sarcastically. Allen made a face.

"No, I'm not that stupid. I was thinking we'd see a movie and get lunch. Does that sound okay?" Allen asked. Kanda nodded and gave a look of approval. Allen smiled and looked at his watch. "Cool, if we leave now, we can catch the bus downtown-.."

"Bus?" Kanda interjected. "Why don't we just take my car?" Kanda grabbed his keys and opened the door. They walked down to the residential parking lot, and Kanda pressed the unlock button on the key fob. Allen was surprised when the lights to a beautifully restored 1967 black Cougar flashed. Kanda caught a glimpse of the look on Allen's face and only smirked.

"It was a birthday present from a good friend of mine," Kanda explained, getting in the car. Allen stopped marveling the burgundy interior just long enough to give Kanda a sarcastically unbelieving look. Kanda rolled his eyes. "He used to restore old cars, and I'd been eyeing this one since he first brought it home." Kanda slipped the key in the ignition and the car roared to life, the engine purring like namesake. Allen looked all around the car while Kanda backed out, and spotted a sword perched on the back dash. He looked at Kanda questioningly, who only smirked.

"Don't worry," Kanda chuckled, putting the car in drive. "I have a permit for it, remember?" Kanda almost smiled as he sped, tired screeching, out of the parking lot. Allen laughed as they raced down the highway.

"You seem excited," Kanda said jokingly. Allen smiled for the umpteenth time that morning. "You got an iPod?" Kanda asked, pointing to the doc plugged into the lighter. Allen fished in his pocket and pulled out his iPod. He put it on shuffle, put it on the doc and pressed play. Kanda turned the volume up and a very recognizable bass line played

"_I'm gonna fight 'em off. A seven nation army couldn't hold me back. They're gonna rip it off, taking their time right behind my back. And I'm talkin' to myself at night because I can't forget._"

"White Stripes- niiiice," Kanda remarked. The jammed until the song ended and a new one started.

"_So now it's your turn to tell me that I'm wrong. I've never seen anything quite like this, I always miss. I'm asking you to smile because that's what I like best. I need to be this far away from you to understand that I can do this. You act like I don't know my own way home._"

Kanda nodded, a bit surprised. "Texas Is the Reason? I never pegged you as a post-hardcore/emo kinda guy. Very underground, I'm impressed." More jamming occurred until pop/rock music blared.

"_And I came here to make you dance tonight. I don't care about my guilty pleasure for you. And I don't even know what kinda fool you taking me for. So you got some brand new clothes you never could afford before. Oh brother, spare us all, we don't care anymore._"

"Now that sounds more like something I could see you listening to," Kanda chuckled. "Likin' the Cobra Starship." Allen laughed and jammed in his own little world until the pop/rock sound died out and bled into a large explosion and a techno beat. Kanda laughed out loud.

"Brokencyde! I did _not_ expect that!" Kanda laughed. Allen blushed a deep red as the lyrics played, realizing now how horrible they were and how easily they made him feel awkward in the presence of someone who wasn't Lavi. Kanda only shook his head, still laughing, and looked forward a little.

"Hey kid, I think we're here," Kanda commented. Allen looked out the window.

"Yeah, we're here!" Allen chirped. Kanda pulled in and parked.

"Okay, I have to say, that was the most interesting car ride I've been a part of in a while," Kanda admitted. "I'm definitely impressed and amused by your choices in music. Now let's see how you do with movies." They got out of the car and walked up to the ticket booth.

"Hey Kanda, why don't you go inside and get us some popcorn. I got the tickets." Allen handed Kanda a ten. Kanda shrugged and walked in. Allen turned toward the booth and guess who had the morning shift? Lavi, of course!

"Hey Allen! Here're the tickets you reserved," Lavi said, handing over the tickets. Allen nodded and gave Lavi $20. Lavi chuckled. "Yanno, I thought when you called to get the tickets for _this _movie, you'd be on a date with a girl, not Kanda." Allen made a face.

"Shut up you butt pirate," Allen retorted.

"Heeeyy! A) it's a fashion statement, and dos) you wish. You're the one here on a date with Kanda," Lavi sneered. Allen rolled his eyes and walked inside. Kanda was standing by the ticket taker, standing all nonchalant and sexy-like. Allen walked up and gave the dude their tickets. The guy ripped them and snickered as he handed them back.

"Theater six, on the right." They walked down the hall and into the theater. Kanda knitted his brow at the sight of happy couples and giggling teenage girls with reluctant looking boyfriends. They sat down just in time for the opening scene... Of _Dear John_.

"Oh c'mon Allen, what the hell?" Kanda whispered angrily.

"Hey, Lenalee said it was a really good movie, and she threatened to castrate me if I didn't go see it, so don't shoot me, it was all her. Besides, Lenalee is usually right when it comes to good movies!" Allen whispered back. Kanda whacked him upside the head.

"Did you take into account that she's a giggly teenage girl who lives for sappy shit like this?" Kanda growled.

"Ay, I paid for everything. And c'mon, it can't be that bad. Let's just watch and see how we like it," Allen reasoned. Kanda grumbled and crossed his arms.

They were able to get through the beginning of the movie. But by the time the letters started, they couldn't take it anymore.

"_Dear John. Two weeks, that's all it took..._" They looked at each other, and then back at the screen. They yelled in unison.

"This movie _**sucks ASS**_!" They quickly ducked away from their seats and ran out of the theater. People booed, threw popcorn, and someone even threw a water bottle at them! They laughed and ran out into the main lobby. "Oh my god! That was terrible! Remind me to never ask Lenalee for movie advice ever again!" Allen exclaimed. Kanda chuckled and picked popcorn out of his hair.

"I think the chick who threw the water bottle _was_ Lenalee!" Kanda replied. "Well that was thirty minutes of my life I'll never get back. What now?" Allen shrugged.

"You wanna go sneak into Harry Potter 7 part 1?"

"Oh hell yeah I do." Kanda and Allen ran down to the theater and slipped in.

They left the theater and walked out to the car. "So it's just after two. How about we go eat?" Allen suggested. Kanda nodded and they got into the car. And they went where any pair of teens go for lunch. Taco Bell! As they ate, they talked nonstop. Both found that they had a bunch of things in common. It seemed they flirted a little too! There was an almost constant smile on Kanda's face, laughing at Allen's jokes and everything.

"Okay, so I have to ask. There's no way the fire could've done this, so why is your hair snow white and your eyes gray?" Kanda asked. Allen shrugged.

"I guess it's a birth defect with pigments or something. I like my eyes, people tell me they're pretty. I've thought about dying my hair, but hey, its natural color makes me unique. Just like everyone else." They laughed (again!).

As they got into the car they realized something. They had no clue what to do or where to go. Allen pursed his lips and looked at his watch. "It's a little before four, you wanna come hang at my place?" Allen offered. Kanda shrugged.

"Sure, just tell me how to get there," he replied. Allen pointed Kanda through downtown and into the suburbs about forty-five minutes out. They pulled in in front of a nice two story house.

"We're here," Allen stated, climbing out of the car. Kanda was surprised walking in to find it so... huge.

"Follow me." Allen pulled Kanda into the living room. There was a large window on the wall opposite to them that let the afternoon sunlight in, casting mysterious shadows just beyond the furniture.

"Wow, Allen, this is great. You live here all by yourself?" Kanda asked. Allen plopped onto the couch.

"Yep, all mine." Allen motioned for Kanda to sit. He did, and Allen scooted a little closer. "What do you wanna do?" Allen asked. Kanda shrugged.

"You house, whatever you want," Kanda replied lazily.

'_There are a lot of things I wanna do with you,_' Allen thought. Wait, no! Bad Allen! Dirty thoughts be gone! Allen shook his head and looked back at Kanda. "When I think about it, I actually don't know that much about you. I mean, you know pretty much all of my life story's key points. Would you mind me asking a few questions?" he asked. Kanda nodded.

"Be my guest," Kanda replied. Allen smiled.

"We can make it like a game. For every, say, three questions I ask, you can ask one. Seem fair?" Kanda nodded and Allen nestled further into the couch. "Okay I'll go first. Where are you from?" he asked. Kanda pondered the question.

"Well, all I know is that I was born somewhere in Japan. I'm not sure exactly where, I drifted a lot. My family was killed when I was young and I was adopted by an old army general named Tiedoll. That didn't last too long. Either way, I'm not entirely sure."

"Hm. That's interesting," Allen commented. "When's your birthday?"

"June sixth," Kanda replied. Allen nodded.

"Expect a present. Why of all places, did you move here?" Allen inquired.

"Small town, quiet, can't find it on a map, it's my kinda place. Nothing huge ever happens," Kanda replied. "My turn. Why do you eat so much?" Allen laughed and shook his head.

"If I had a dollar every time I was asked this question.. I would tell you it's a growth spurt, but I've always eaten like this. So I couldn't tell ya. My turn again! Have you ever done anything illegal?" he asked. Kanda chuckled lightly.

"Of course I have. Who hasn't by the time they're eighteen?" he answered. Allen shook his head.

"Have you ever been caught doing something illegal?" he inquired.

"Only once," Kanda started. "I was caught shop lifting sword polish. I had to pay for it." Allen started laughing.

"Stealing sword polish? Wow Kanda, I thought you were more hard core than that!" Allen laughed. Kanda made a face.

"You asked if I was caught. That's the only time I was ever caught," Kanda explained.

"Okay, then what's the worst thing you've ever done?" Allen asked in need of elaboration. Kanda knew he couldn't tell Allen the truth, not just yet, so he went with the next best thing.

"I got in a fist fight one time, and I ended up pulling my sword. The guy fainted," Kanda said. Allen lit up.

"That sounds like it was totally awesome! I wish I could've done something that cool. But alas, I never have. Your turn." Kanda thought for a moment.

"Uuuhh... When's _your_ birthday?" he asked. Allen looked out the window.

"I actually don't know. Mana adopted me on December twenty-fifth, so we just went with that..." He looked back to Kanda, and became a little sheepish. "Have you ever been in love?" he asked quietly. Kanda sat shocked for a moment.

"I-.. Uh... Once, maybe..." he stuttered. Allen smiled half-heartedly.

"That's good. This Micah guy; you said he died. Would you tell me how? I mean, if that's alright with you.." Allen tried. Kanda kept his answer concise, not wanting to have to elaborate much on the subject.

"He was shot. He was in the wrong neighborhood at the wrong time. I still miss him..." Kanda looked at his hands longingly. Allen pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them.

"Do you ever feel alone?" Allen mumbled.

"Of course. I think everyone does once in a while. Living the way I do, you kinda have to get used to it. What about you? You live all alone in this huge house, you can't say you've never felt the least bit lonely," Kanda said. Allen sighed.

"All the time... Much more than I let on. But I guess I don't mind, I've also grown used to it." He leaned back on his elbows. "How many girlfriends and/or boyfriends have you had?" Kanda shot an accusing glare. Allen lifted his hands innocently. "Hey, I don't judge," he explained. "If you were and/or are gay, I don't care." Kanda chuckled and shook his head.

"I can't believe I'm about to tell you this," he mumbled. "Just one- a boyfriend I guess.." Allen sat up.

"Oooh, was it Micah?" Allen joked.

"Actually, yeah it was. I loved the guy," Kanda replied. "Micah Alma was my best and only friend. He taught me everything. I remember when I met that persistent bastard. I was waiting tables for a little extra cash, and he sat in my section one day. After that, he always sat at the same table, making sure to see me. We were fast friends, when I finally gave him the chance... And love just came naturally. But he wasn't just a _boyfriend_, he was... Like my other half. It hurt when he was gone, and I was always joyous and complete when we were together. We were all that each other had. I loved him with all my heart, and when he died... I had no clue what to do with myself. He always went out on these 'meetings' for work, and he told me the same thing every time he left.  
>'<em>If I don't come back, just remember that I love you, and please move on.<em>' It didn't really make sense to me. It was pretty obvious that what he did was dangerous, but I never asked what it was. We knew that both of us had baggage, and there were things about our lives that no one outside the need-to-know would ever know. But I never did care what he did, as long as he came back to me. But I always remembered that saying. So when he died, I moved on, in a sense. It's like, if I find someone else, I know he wouldn't mind, because it's what he would've wanted. I'm hoping that one day maybe I can find someone else and be happy again. But I guess that just makes me a hopeless romantic." Kanda leaned his head back on the couch. He rolled his head and looked at Allen, who was almost crying.

"That was so beautiful... You aren't a hopeless romantic, you're faithful. I'm sure you'll find them, whoever they are," Allen choked out. Kanda was mesmerized by Allen at that moment. The gleam in his eyes and the solemn look on his face suggested something that Kanda couldn't quite grasp. And all curled up the way he was, Allen looked like a little panda cub. Kanda just wanted to take Allen up in his arms and kiss him; promise him that things would be alright, and hold him close. He hadn't felt this way in years... He breathed in shakily, and checked his watch. It was already six! He looked out the window and realized that it was getting dark. He tried to use the time as an excuse to leave.

"It's kinda late," Kanda said, standing. "I guess I should head home..." He walked towards the door, but Allen caught his arm.

"Is there something you have to do tomorrow?" Allen asked. "Work, church, anything?" Kanda thought for a moment.

"Well, no..." he hesitated.

"Then stay," Allen pleaded. "Please... You can stay in the guest room, or I will and you can take my room... Just please stay!" Tears began to pour down Allen's face. "I just don't wanna be alone anymore... Please..." Allen cried. Kanda pulled him close and kissed him deeply. He bowed Allen's body to his, and held Allen's head gingerly in his hand. Allen's tear-filled eyes fluttered closed and he wrapped his arms around Kanda's neck. When the kiss broke, Allen bit his lip.

"Does this mean you're staying tonight?" he asked sheepishly. Kanda chuckled.

"Yes Allen, I'm staying."

The sun poked through the blinds, lighting up Allen's room with a soft glow. Allen peeked at his surroundings, half awake. Then, like any other teenager, he turned over and nestled into the covers again. In this case, snuggling up to Kanda and disappearing under the comforter. Kanda draped an arm over his eyes, sinking into the pillows. Allen hummed contently for the warmth and his closeness to Kanda.

"Good morning Kanda," Allen yawned. He rolled over, chest to chest with the older. Kanda smiled and looked down sleepily at the white haired boy.

"Good morning indeed," Kanda replied, kissing Allen's forehead. Allen shivered in delight and hugged Kanda, tracing the tattoo on the left side of Kanda's chest. The moment was perfect; the silence and soft sunlight was absolutely peaceful. But as it goes with perfect moments, there is always an interruption. This one took the form of Allen's stomach, which growled loudly. Allen's cheeks were dusted pink with embarrassment. Kanda chuckled and planted a light kiss on the top of Allen's head.

"I guess it's high time that we go get some breakfast," Kanda joked. Allen smiled sheepishly and got out of the bed. Breakfast was complete bliss, sitting close and talking more, kissing a little. They were perfectly happy with the simplicity of the situation, just the two of them together. No outside forces to make them feel uncomfortable and no feeling of an obligation to extreme intimacy. There wasn't a single dull moment between the two, even in moments of pure silence... But something finally clicked in Kanda's mind.

It was Micah all over again.

Sure, he'd seen the similarities before, but... It was scary how the scenarios were alike.  
>Kanda blew into town randomly, meets Allen. Allen's persistent in getting to know him... Allen was unknowingly doing all the same things Micah had done. Even last night, Kanda was reminded of his first night with Micah. Kanda senses what happening, tries to leave, and Allen stops him. Hell, they were even the same ages! Kanda got serious for a moment.<p>

"Is everything okay Kanda?" Allen asked. He put a hand over Kanda's, but he pulled away.

"No, I... I need to leave." Kanda stood and walked upstairs to gather his stuff. Allen ran after him.

"Did you forget about something you have to do?" Allen called. Kanda blew past him.

"No, I just can't do this Allen. Not again," Kanda replied, bounding down the stairs. Allen ran after him.

"Can't do what? Kanda, you're not making any sense! Please explain what's going on!" Allen yelled. Kanda ignored him, running to the door. Allen caught up and grabbed his hand.

"Let go of me," Kanda demanded coldly, not even turning to look at Allen.

"Not until you tell me what's going on! Just five minutes ago everything was perfect, and now you're running like there's a plague!" Tears rolled down Allen's face. "What did I do?"

"You wouldn't understand!" Kanda yelled. He pulled away and ran out to his car. Allen tried to stop him, but all he got was a face full of window. Kanda backed out quickly and sped off, leaving Allen to cry in his driveway.

Kanda rubbed his eyes and smashed the play button on the stereo.

"_Best thing 'bout tonight's that we're not fighting. Could it be that we have been this way before? I know you don't think that I am trying. I know you're wearing thin down to the core, but hold your breath because because tonight will be that night that I will fall for you..._" Kanda slammed his hand on the steering wheel. It was Allen's iPod. He pressed next.

"_Wakin' up without you, it doesn't feel right to sleep with only memories, it's harder every night. And sometimes I think I can feel you, breathing on my neck. Tonight I'm reaching out to the stars. I think that He owes me a favor. It doesn't matter where you are, I'll hold you again. I wish I could hear your voice. Don't leave me alone in this bed..._" Kanda sniffled and mumbled something obscene. He changed it.

"_Seems I've been waiting forever, looking for you so long. Love in my life was a gamble, I been playin' my cards all wrong..._"

"Oh fucking come on!" Kanda shut off the radio. He drove away in silence the rest of the way home... crying.

Allen ran inside and slammed the door. "Why the fuck does everyone always leave me?" he yelled. He ran upstairs, crying, and started punching the wall.

**END ACT II**


	4. Act III

**ACT III**

A few weeks passed after the incident at Allen's house. Kanda and Allen avoided each other for the most part. They wouldn't so much as look at each other for a while. It was late March before they spoke again.

Allen had been hurting for a long time over what happened. But damn it, enough is enough! It's not like he stopped liking Kanda; he couldn't for some reason. He missed him like crazy, and thought about him every day. He thought that made him a bit of a masochist, but hey; who the hell cares? After eighth period, he caught up with Kanda in the parking lot.

"Kanda!" he called. "Hey, wait up!" He ran over to Kanda, who stopped behind his car.

"What the hell do you want short st-.." Allen cut Kanda off with a passionate kiss. Kanda didn't know whether to respond or push the bugger off. But Allen pulled away and stared, teary-eyed, into Kanda's dark blue eyes.

"Before you run me over, or stab me or whatever, just hear me out," Allen rushed. "Kanda, I really like you, and I'm so sorry if anything I said that one day at my house offended you. I don't know what happened, but I do know that I think I fell in love with you that day, and I wanna be the one you find happiness with now that Micah's gone. I-.." Allen stopped when Kanda gripped his chin firmly. Allen looked at Kanda, who kissed Allen deeply. He wrapped an arm around Allen's waist and gingerly cradled the younger's head with his free hand. Allen kissed back almost immediately and gripped the back of Kanda's jacket. When the kiss broke, Allen burried his head in Kanda's shoulder.

"I missed you too," Kanda whispered, stroking Allen's hair.

Things were much better now. Kanda and Allen went out regularly, and they didn't care who saw them. By now, it'd gone around the school that the two were together. Kanda was almost suspended for punching a guy who tried to hit on Allen. Now, Kanda wasn't the jealous type, he was just protective. Allen liked that. At one point, some girl in the park started flirting with Kanda. Allen stepped between them and said,

"Back off bitch, he's mine." Kanda kissed him and they walked off triumphantly. They were so happy together. Kanda opened up little by little as time passed. Allen could tell that there was something big that Kanda wasn't telling him, but he didn't pry too much. Kanda was like an onion- you had to peel him back one layer at a time. Around the beginning of May, Allen decided to pop a question to a certain samurai.

"Kanda," he started. "Yanno, we've been together for a while now, and you know I love you so..." Allen twiddled his fingers. "Do you wanna move in with me?" Kanda kissed Allen sweetly.

"Of course I would," he responded.

The next couple of days were spent moving Kanda's stuff into Allen's house. They didn't bother setting up in the guest room, because Kanda already slept with Allen when he stayed over. When they finished, they laid on the bed together, holding one another.

"I love you," Allen said, cuddling close to the samurai. Kanda wrapped his arms around Allen and kissed his forehead.

"I love you too Allen..."

Summer set in and Allen saw it as a perfect opportunity to dig into the mystery that was Kanda. It had become very apparent that Kanda was hiding things. Not 'I'm-cheating-on-you' things, but 'I've-done-things-I'm-not-proud-of-and-had-to-leave-where-I-was-to-stay-alive' things. Allen thought it was high time to get some answers. When Kanda first blew in right after Winter break, Allen kinda ignored the mysterious, seemingly no past vibe. But now he was getting frustrated. What if Kanda had been some drug lord, or sacrificed people in some weird Satanic cult or something? Not that Allen wanted to suspect Kanda of any wrong doing, but Kanda himself had admitted to doing some illegal things in the past and that he thought he was gonna go to Hell.

'Shit,' Allen thought. He walked toward Kanda, who was sitting on the couch reading a book. Allen sat down next to Kanda and cuddled up to him. Kanda smiled and wrapped an arm around Allen.

"What's up Moyashi?" Kanda asked. Moyashi was now kinda like a pet name for Allen. He was quiet for a bit.

"Would you mind if I asked some questions?" he tried. Kanda put the book down and faced his younger lover. Allen shifted nervously. "Kanda, I know there are things you've been hiding from me. And I respect that there are some things that you might not want to talk about, but I think you need to tell me what you haven't. You've acted a little weird for a while, and I think it has something to do with whatever secrets you and Micah kept from each other." Allen paused. Kanda's face had contorted a little into the thinking face he got.

"Okay," Kanda replied cautiously. "What exactly do you wanna know?" Allen thought for a moment.

"On our first 'date; thingy, I asked you if you ever felt alone. You said that living the way you do, you get used to it. Exactly what way did you live to help get used to loneliness?" Allen questioned.

"Well," Kanda started. "I moved around a lot, so I never found sense in making any friends-.." Allen cut him off.

"Why did you move around so much? You're not one of those hippie go-where-the-wind-takes-me artist types. Why the constant need to move?" Allen questioned. With every passing second, this felt more and more like an interrogation.

"There's never been anything to anchor me anywhere. Not until I came here," Kanda replied, smoothing Allen's hair. Allen didn't buy it. Well, not completely.

"There wasn't anything else? Nothing big happened, like you were caught doing something extremely illegal, or someone who had been looking for you found you?" Allen asked. Kanda looked confused and slightly startled.

"What makes you think I'm running from something?" Kanda asked.

"It was a random suggestion of situation. Why do you seem so offended by that certain remark?" Allen retorted.

"Why do you find it necessary to interrogate me like you just caught me at the scene of a murder?" Kanda replied. His voice was rising in volume out of anger.

"Because I know you're hiding things from me, and I think they were, at least to you, life threatening at one point if not still now!" Allen yelled. Kanda tried to comfort Allen as if to say it wasn't true, but Allen only pulled away.

"What about yesterday? Remember that guy I was soeaking to? You pulled me away and glared at him as if you wanted to kill him! Who was that?" Allen yelled. Kanda ran his hands through his hair and looked down.

"It was him... They found me..." Kanda murmered.

"Who is 'him?' What do you mean they found you?" Allen demanded. Kanda hesitated.

"I guess there's no point in hiding it anymore..."

**-flaskback-**

_Kanda wipes his sword clean of blood. He grimaces at the bleeding body, kicks it into the river, and walks away. It was his third kill this week. He looks at his watch. Dammit it was already three a.m. Jerry was going to kill him if he was late again.  
>The small diner he works at is already lit up and open for business at 5:30 in the morning. People don't start coming in until about eight, like normal. A guy sits in Kanda's section- someone he's never seen before. He is a tall guy, very attractive, and has a secretive smile on his face. The young man says his name is Micah Alma. He is very nice to Kanda, nicer than most.<br>Every day after that, Micah always sits in Kanda's section, talking to him, flirting with the swordsman. Kanda is wary at first, not wanting to get involved. But gradually, he lets his guard down more and more. They begin meeting outside of the diner, and eventually start dating.  
>Neither of them knew what the other did in their free time away from each other. Micah honestly knew nothing about the Black Order; the organization Kanda was a hired assassin for. Nor did Kanda know about the fact that Micah was the next Godfather of the Millenium Syndicate, and was betrothed to a girl in said syndicate named Road Kamelot.<br>Kanda leaves for a while, taking care of a op he gets sent on. When he gets back, there is a note on the coffee table from Micah. It says that he has a meeting out of town and will be back in a few days. Kanda doesn't think much of it. Micah is always out of town for these meetings.  
>a few hours later, Kanda is called out for another hit. "Damn," he mumbles to himself. "More and more people hate each other every fucking day." He only knows that he is supposed to meet with two other guys that have his target. So he travels out to the meeting place. Little does he know what is in store for him...<br>The guys who have his hit are big and burly; the kind of guys that come to mind when you think of a job like this. The target is bound with rope and duct tape on his hands and feet, kneeling on the ground with a burlap sac on his head. Typical. These idiots believe everything they see in the movies. Kanda draws Mugen and removes the bag from the target's head.  
>Micah... His beloved Micah is on his knees in front of Kanda. This is the dangerous mafia wannabe Godfather he is supposed to kill? No, this couldn't be right... Micah looks up at Kanda with tears in his eyes.<br>"I'm so sorry Kanda... I should have told you," Micah sobs. Kanda falls to his knees in front of his lover and hugs him tightly.  
>"What the Hell is going on?" Kanda whispers, carressing Micah's face. One of the buff dudes huffs.<br>"Hurry up and kill the bastard! Fucker took a lot to get, and I don't wanna sit here and watch y'all have a fucking Oprah moment!" the guy yells. Kanda stands and drops his sword.  
>"No. I... I can't. I refuse to kill him!" Kanda yelled. The other guy stepped forward.<br>"You pussy! C'mon, just kill the fuck! You're __**Kanda**__! They say you have no heart! Kill the lil fucker!" Kanda turns around and shakes his head.  
>"I refuse to kill the man I love!" he yells. One of the guys pulls out his gun and cocks it.<br>"If you're too much of a pussy to do it, I will!" he yells. Kanda whips his head around as the guy aims the gun at Micah's head, just in time to watch Micah say 'I'm sorry.' The guy pulls the trigger and plants a bullet in Micah's brain.  
>Time seems to stop for Kanda at this moment. He lunges for the guy with the gun, picking up his sword, and stabs the guy in the neck as he fires a bullet into Kanda's arm. Kanda cries out in agony and slices through the other guys torso. He kneels next to Micah and holds the body, already running cold. Kanda cries harder than he has in his entire life. He holds Micah's body close, kissing his already pale lips.<br>"I'm so sorry Micah... This is all my fault... Oh my God, how could I have let this happen?" Kanda closes Micah's eyes and kisses him again. "I swear, I will never forget you..." Kanda sobs into Micah's chest. A moment later, several men come bursting into the room with a girl who looks even younger than Kanda. She looks at the scene, and then looks dangerously at him.  
>"You have three seconds to run..." the girl says, digging her nails into her palms. Kanda looks at her, and then back at Micah's body.<br>"I love you," he whispers, kissing Micah one more time. He stands and runs past the girl, who is already falling to her knees by the beautiful corpse._

**-end flashback-**

Allen was really pissed off for a few days. Who could blame him though? How would you feel if your boyfriend was an ex-assassin and dated a huge crime boss? Kanda understood, he gave Allen some space. But we all know Allen; he got over it after a while. Now they were a little scared. What if Kanda really had been found? They decided to take spme steps of precaution.

Whenever they left the house, it was always together. They wouldn't go anywhere alone. Whenever they did go out, it was only for work and necessities only. On scarce occasions of outings, there was absolutely no talk of Micah, in case there was ever any sign of mobsters. Conveniently, they both worked at a small book store on the east side of town, so they tried to get shifts as close together as possible, if not the same one. Kanda and Allen were always alert. Neither one of them trusted a soul, even those who were close friends. In the world of the mafia, no one could be trusted.

Over a month went by without incident- not a single blip on the radar screen. Not so much as a suspicious glance from a random stranger. So they let their guard down a bit. Things drifted closer and closer to being normal again. One day, Kanda went to work early for a few hours while Allen was still asleep. Allen had the day off, so Kanda planned to have a day for themselves. He came home around one, but Allen wasn't there. He walked all throughout the house, but there was no trace of him. There was a note in the kitchen on the fridge:

"_Kanda, gone to the store, back in a few. Love you!_ :)" Kanda relaxed... For all of two seconds. This was the note from three days ago. Where the hell was Allen? Kanda tried calling his cell, but it went straight to voicemail every time. He was starting to get worried. Kanda went to sit on the couch when he noticed a digital camera sitting on the coffee table. There was a note attatched to it that said 'watch me!' Kanda picked it up and pressed the play button.

The first thing he saw was Road Kamelot adjusting the shot. Kanda immediately tensed. Road stepped back and let the background into view. Allen was there, tied up, beaten to shit, just like Micah was thw night he died. Kanda almost snapped the camera in half. Road came back into the shot.

"_Miss me lover boy?_" she asked mockingly. She twirled and knelt down next to Allen. "_I missed you. I missed chasing you all over, trying to find you. I guess I finally found you Waldo~_" She pinched Allen's cheeks. "_He's such a cutie! I compliment your taste in guys. But your first choice was still the best. Just the wrong choice. I hate to break it to you, but I'm still pretty pissed._" Road came closer to the camera. "_I'll make you a deal; show up here by 2:15 to get him, he lives._" She pointed at Allen. "_If you're even a minute late, the boy. Sound fair? No? Well that's too fucking bad._" Road walked back to Allen and petted his hair lovingly. "_I'd hate to waste such a fine boy, but those are the terms._" She hugged Allen tightly and spoke in a macking cutesy mother voice. "_If you ever wanna see you're sweet baby Allen alive again,_" she kissed Allen deeply. "_I suggest you get your ass in gear. There's an address on the back of the card. Come if you love him as much as you loved Micah, or else he's dead._" Road stood and stepped back.

Allen looked at the camera, teary-eyed, and whimpered, "_I'm so sorry Yu..._" Road kicked him over and blew a kiss at the camera before walking off. kanda was almost in tears. This was the exact reason he'd never let anyone get close after Micah... He flipped the card over and read the address. He looked at his watch; 1:32. Kanda grabbed Mugen and ran out to the car.

"I hope you like the taste of metal and sword polish, bitch!" he growled, ripping out of the driveway.

Kanda burst through the doors of the abandoned warehouse with time to spare. He immediately went toattack Road, who was standing smugly in the middle of the room. The smirk on her face only grew wider as several low rank underlings surrounded him, pointing guns.

'_Fuck,_' he thought. '_I can't move with them at point blank range..._' Kanda looked around the room for Allen. The snowy haired boy was kneeling a little behind Road, beside a man with dark, curly hair who was dressed in a tuxedo. Allen tried to smile, but the man gripped his hair and jerked him backward. Kanda went to attack him, but was stopped by guns on all sides of his torso.

"So eager, Mr. Samurai," Road sighed mockingly. She skipped over to the taller man holding Allen. "That's enough, Tyki." She grabbed Allen's collar and yanked him up to his feet. Road threw him forward into the small mass of flunkies around Kanda. They dispersed and Allen fell into his lover's arms. Allen cried into Kanda's chest, gripping the fabric of his jacket.

"I'm so sorry!" the younger sobbed. "I should've been more careful! I'm so sorry Kanda, this was all my fault!"

"Would you shut the hell up?" Kanda asked sternly. Allen looked at him confused. "You have no fault here, I'm the one who got you dragged into this. Just stay out of this, it's none of your concern anymore." Kanda kissed Allen sweetly. He let go of his young lover and stepped forward. "Okay Road, I'm here. Let him go. He has nothing to do with this. This is all between you and me. What do you want from me?" he demanded. Road smirked evilly and tapped her chin.

"Well, I guess this game has gone on long enough. You know what I want. Eye for an eye, Kanda. It's your fault the love of my life was taken from me, so I wanna take yours, simple as that," she explained. Allen went pale and made a small squeaking sound. Kanda shook his head.

"Fuck no. He has nothing to do with this anymore. You've got me, I'm the reason Micah is dead. If a life is taken today, it will be mine," Kanda said. Now Allen objected.

"Kanda, no! let her kill me, it's what she wanted-.."

"Stay out of this Allen!" Kanda barked. "I won't let you be dragged down any further into the Hell of my life!" Kanda turned toward Road. "If you kill him just to make me suffer, I swear on Micah's grave that I _will_ find you.. and I _will_ kill you in the _most horrible way imaginable_." Kanda gripped his sword tighter and glared so intensely, any normal person would piss their pants and run away in fear of their life.

However, these weren't normal people he was dealing with. Road contemplated the thought. "Hm... I guess that would work. What do you think, Godfather?" she asked. Seemingly out of nowhere, the Godfather, Earl Millenium, appeared.

"He took my heir, we take his life. Fair enough," he replied in his gruff voice. Just as mysteriously appeared, he vanished into the shadows. Road smiled and shrugged.

"Lord Millenium is okay with it. Okay, you've got a deal. Your life, dude." Road motioned the underlings forward. Two of them grabbed Kanda's arms and walked him forward to her. Allen was freaking out.

"No dammit, stop! Take me! Eye for an eye, that's what you said! Don't kill him, please!" Allen yelled. He went to run at them, but he was caught by a few other gangsters. He kicked and thrashed as much as they could as they held him back. "Let me go!" he yelled. "Road kill me! Not Kanda. Please not Kanda! Take my life! Please let him go!" Allen screamed. He was crying so hard he couldn't see straight. Road wasn't listening. She was ready to have fun killing Kanda.

"Hm, whatever should I begin with?" Road wondered sarcastically. She kicked Kanda in his abdomen as hard as she could manage, bringing him down to his knees. She laughed sadistically as she yanked Mugen from Kanda's hands. He just sat there, waiting patiently for his demise to overcome him. Road laughed as she slashed deep cuts into Kanda's legs. He cringed, but he refused to cry out. he was already at the mercy of his enemy. She stabbed and cut him on his legs and arms several times, and sliced his face once. She cut his shirt off and kicked him down.

"Even in death, you will remember the pain you caused me!" she yelled. She began to carve a large 'M' into his chest. He writhed and arched in immense pain, glimpsing Allen, who still thrashed and cried in the arms of the mobsters. When road finished, she pulled Kanda up by his hair. She forced him to look at Allen. "Take a good look," she growled. "This is the last time you'll ever see your little lover." Road shoved Mugen into Kanda's stomach. Allen stilled for a moment before screaming and trying as hard as he could to pull away from the four guys holding him.

"Kaaaannnndddaaaaa!" Allen screamed. "Please don't leave me!" Kanda coughed up blood, clutching his abdomen.

"Oh, die already fucker," Road said, rolling her eyes and pulling out a gun. Kanda looked up.

"I love you Allen... I'm sorry," he said, letting a fewtears roll down his cheeks. Road shot Kanda once in the chest and again in the head. He was dead before he hit the floor.

"Nnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo!" Allen screamed. He finally mustered the strength to break the grip on him and ran to Kanda's side. "No, no please! Kanda!" he sobbed. Road laughed and dropped the gun.

"Aaah, I'm bored already," she sighed. "Let's go." They all walked away, leaving Allen to sob over Kanda's body.

"I love you Kanda..." Allen sobbed, kissing the corpse. "_Zutto soba ni iru you..._" he whispered. Allen saw the gun lying on the floor. He picked it up in his left hand and cried out.

"Road Kamelot!" he screamed. As she turned, he pulled the trigger, planting a bullet between her eyes. He shot another into the back of Tyki's head. He dropped down and picked up Kanda's body. He ran out, getting shot once in his leg, an another time in his arm.

At the funeral, not a single person had it in them to ask Allen how Kanda died. Nor was anyone able to hold back their tears. Even six months later, Allen remembered everything as if it happened five minutes ago. He pulled out his pocket knife.

_"I look alive, I'm dead inside, my heart has holes and black blood flows. We'll do some drugs, we'll fall in love, we'll get fucked up while the world just shrugs. With no thought logically, we're wandering the streets so aimlessly, I hate to see these kids just being but down so painlessly..." _

The song droned on as he slowly raised the knife to his wrist. He watched the blade glimmer in the candlelight in his room. He pressed the cold blade to his skin.

_"And just because you show no love and hate on us, you fucked our trust! Now watch me thrust this knife called lust into my chest until it busts!"  
><em>Allen sliced his wrist a little deeper with each cut. His blood splattered. The pain in his wrist numbed almost immediately.

**END ACT III**


	5. Epilouge

**EPILOUGE**

"It was barely six months ago that our dear friend, Yu Kanda, was taken from us. Now," Lavi choked up. "Our own little savior, Allen Walker, has joined him in death. Allen and Kanda had a special connection few of us have the pleasure to enjoy in our entire lifetimes. When Kanda died, a piece of Allen went with him. And now they're both gone... May they rest in peace together." Lavi placed a white rose and a black beauty on Allen's coffin, and the same on Kanda's nearby grave, directly adjacent to where Allen would be buried.  
>"I love you guys... I'll miss the hell outa you both," Lavi choked out. the crowd cried collectively at the loss. But Allen and Kanda were finally together again.<p>

_Rest in peace together, dear friends. You will be missed._

**END**

* * *

><p><em>And so the epic comes to an end. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! <em>


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